Editor’s Note: Whether this woman’s version of events is accurate or not is hard for me to say. She clearly says she was not raped in a legal sense and she was overage when she was ‘mentored’ by Jim Del Negro, the current leader of the Society of Protectors. I will let her tell her story in her own words for they may shed some light on what Nxivm is and what women should watch out for in groups that they may choose to join for their self-improvement.
By Lana LaRue [a fictitious name].
I was a victim of Nxivm and of James Del Negro. I have never told my story before. It’s really simple. Yes, the branding and the nude pictures of Cami when she was 15 years old was Keith Raniere’s downfall.
Jim also had an affair with Cami but that was when Cami was an adult. Like he did with me, Jim seduced Cami.
The real crime is the heartbreak that was caused by them meddling in people’s families, breaking up families. My family. Everyone suffered.
But all these adults had choices. I could have stayed with my spouse. I was 19 and newly married. [Jim, I know you will know who I am. I don’t care anymore. I am done hiding.]
Raniere and Del Negro and the others did not force anyone to get branded, to have sex, etc. Not physically, as far as I know.
What they did was put up an imaginary front. That front was wealth, because of the Seagram’s sisters. And Nxivm showed a unity that others, including myself, craved for. Playing off that they were helping humanity and had great ethics.
Couples [I was one of them] would attend classes or meetings. I saw a group of people who appeared happy and content and none of them seemed to have money problems. My husband and I were struggling financially at the time.
The ones who were rich and well off were searching for more in life. And we were with them, side by side. Jim was the teacher. I wanted more in life. Jim would preach about ethics and so I felt secure with my spouse being there. But it was a well thought out and progressive trap.
He kept isolating me from my husband. Kept putting thoughts in my head. He asked me to imagine the benefits of my husband dying. He told me to write this down. It escalated out of control, due to needy people, unhappy people. Others searching for more. A sense of belonging. It made them all weak to the cult’s very persuading persona. I was one of them.
Keith Raniere and Jim Del Negro (mini vanguard) and some of the others are most guilty. It caused the destruction of families and the suffering of children. I know other couples who split up who had children.
Why is Jim Del Negro not charged with anything? Why is he running the cult now? If Nxivm was a racketeering enterprise, then Jim has committed many racketeering crimes. He told me he was in charge of different companies within Nxivm.
He is a smiling demon, a drunk [as I found out], and a true manipulator taught by his master. This is the true crime. Not the branding, as it was consensual. But what the branding did. When loved ones found out. How it devastated and tortured family members. My life fell apart. I could never face my husband again.
Yes, Jim taught me. He took me aside time and again. I was so flattered that this high leader of Nxivm said he would personally mentor me to help me and my husband grow ethically and advance in our quest for wealth and worldly success. He said he was teaching me a higher spiritual ethic. He got me alone and told me the body and spirit are connected in subtle ways that only masters like he could see.
I was a fool. He told me to strip down so he could examine my aura and help me correct my posture to get my ideal body weight. I knew it was wrong but he was my teacher. I trusted him. I should have called my husband then and there. But I did it. I thought it was being with like a doctor – or a guru. Then his hands were all on me. He took off my bra. I tried to resist. I’m not trying to whitewash myself. I fought it, only I guess I didn’t fight it hard enough. I got caught up in the moment. His words. His thoughts. His ideas.
The crude aftermath is beyond words….. [I am not saying I am innocent. He did not rape me.] But he raped my spirit. And all he really wanted was to fondle me, to have sex with me. To ejaculate on me.
And this is why Keith Reniere and Jim Del Negro need to be locked up: The lie was that this was done for my spiritual betterment.
No, it is not illegal to brand someone, but perhaps it should be to brainwash someone. That’s what Raniere and Del Negro did. I know he did it to me. He used big charm smiles and hid behind ethics. To destroy lives.
Nxivm may have not killed anyone physically but they murdered many in the mind, as great pain goes over your entire body when your loved one chooses the cult over family. I left my husband for this and I am paying for it every day of my life.
Keith Raniere is in prison. But why is Jim Del Negro still doing dirty deeds? He is now running Nxivm. Teaching ethics to teenage girls still?
I know I was old enough to consent and I know I agreed and can’t say otherwise.
So why do I feel I was raped in spirit?