Nxivm Women Liked Sharing Keith Raniere (and Some of Them Each Other) and Bowing to His Every Whim

Guest View By BHK

The NXIVM brand in the USA is damaged and DOS is just the child wondering what it will do without the parent. DOS serves no useful purpose now. You can get what they have to offer at any number of places at a much cheaper price.

There were claims by some that the NXIVM “self help” curriculum actually helped them, and there may be some who try and salvage that portion. But why? To what end? It seems the only reason this whole organization stayed afloat was because wealthy individuals were willing to keep pumping money into it. NXIVM wasn’t generating enough capital on its own to stay viable, from what I can tell.

Some of these women might be victims, and others are not. It appears as if the main women, the harem that Keith possessed, were not victims. I have no doubt he manipulated them, but they are still responsible. We all have TV commercials, other ads, and individuals in our life who try and sway us to buy something or do something or believe a certain way. That doesn’t make us victims. We have a choice. So did they.

Keith tapped into a bunch of woman who, by all outside appearances, were ripe to be manipulated. They wanted an authority figure and he gave them what they wanted.

He’s a sorry piece of crap for misusing his ability to tap into their desires and use them, but they share the blame of allowing themselves to be lead down the primrose path. They weren’t victims. They certainly weren’t brain-washed. They found the product they liked and were willing to pay the cost for continuing to have the product. Simple supply and demand.

Keith Raniere with students.

For example, we read some of these women saying that having naked pictures taken of them (collateral) made them feel wrong and violated, but how many others we haven’t heard from actually wanted to do this?

Some of the women would strip naked and listen to Keith speak to them on a weekly basis. If one time Keith had them stay clothed, how many of them would have felt disappointed they weren’t able to stand naked before him like they always did? So many things here we don’t know.

Like most of you, I find this whole thing to be disgusting. Especially the parts where they’re enslaving women who don’t want to be there and gathering info on them in order to blackmail them if necessary.

But I can’t deny that while some of the women who were in this group who were participating in the various sex acts were in the middle of living that life, it was exactly what they were looking for and they enjoyed being there. Crazy as that sounds to regular folks, these women liked sharing one man (and some of them each other) and bowing to his every whim.

And no, I still don’t get why.

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  • Rather than being badass, independent and empowered women, the members of DOS are lost souls with serious dependency issues.

    Dependent Personality Disorder

    “Individuals with dependent personality disorder have great difficulty making everyday decisions (such as what clothes to wear) without an excessive advice and reassurance from others. These individuals tend to be passive and allow other people (normally one other person) to take the initiative and assume responsibility for most major areas of their lives. Adults with this disorder typically depend on a parent or spouse to decide where they should live, what kind of job they should have, and which people to befriend.”

    “This condition is inflexible, maladaptive, and can cause dysfunction and distress.”


    Treatment for Dependent Personality Disorder

    “Usually, dependent personality disorder is treated with a combination of talk therapy and medication, if necessary. Therapy focuses on adjusting negative disruptive behaviors and patterns of thinking. The goal is to increase independence through improving the ability to make everyday decisions, and to initiate and develop healthy satisfying relationships. Treatment for DPD can be effective and improve function in daily life.

    However, when left untreated, DPD can develop into other medical and mental health conditions including depression, anxiety, avoidant personality disorder, and substance abuse.”


    This is why you feel crazy and out of control a lot of the time, and why you’re pining for smelly Keith.

  • It seems to me that Jeske and Cafritz, and Unterreiner – who we’ve heard almost nother about, but who’s been with Raniere her whole adult life and who still lives in the little place she bought with him 30 years ago, that has been the site of so much statutory rape and group sex – may well have truly been into polyamory, and being cuckqueans, including being procurers and sexual concierges. The others I’m not so sure about, except that they got roped into playing along to various extents – often seemingly facilitated by some of those three.

  • Well this is quite interesting. This is an exert of an answer I gave to a comment on this site that was pulled and made into its own comment. What I’ve written here is slightly out of context given the topic on which I was commenting, but it seems most of you have overlooked that and commented in an appropriate manner, for which I am thankful. Had I been asked by Frank or whoever made this into its own featured comment, I would not have approved. Maybe I don’t get that choice at this site, in which case my willingness to participate will be significantly reduced.

    Also how this got placed under the name “Barry” is a mystery, since I am BKH.


    Dianne said “Money from wealthy individuals was not used to keep NXiVM afloat. Pam Carfriz’s money supported Raniere’s lifestyle. Money from wealthy individuals in Mexico most likely paid for lawyers to write threatening letters to enemies. The Bronfman’s money was used for, among other things, bankrolling lawsuits and private detectives and to cover Keith’s huge losses in the commodities market.”

    I would say supporting Raniere’s lifestyle, paying for lawyers to write threatening letters, bankrolling lawsuits and private defectives to cover Keith’s poor financial decisions, and anything else along similar lines, all fall under the general heading of “money from wealthy individuals used to keep NXIVM afloat”. It would be difficult to view it any other way. However, I am open to anyone who disagrees and wishes to explain why.

    Moving on, I would also point out that this whole episode is also a lesson in how getting what you want doesn’t necessarily mean you will be content. Here in America, there are those who have this notion that material things and “he who dies with the most stuff wins” is somehow a healthy endeavor. But let’s take a narrow look at Keith and his sex life as an example. At one point he was living with 2 women in a three-way relationship. As far as male fantasies go, most would regard that a a pretty big deal. But not for Keith. At some point he had a harem of 10 women, but he just had to move the needle to 20. And even that wasn’t enough. So eventually he had his women searching out other women. Had he attained this pyramid scheme of women he was in the process of trying to secure, I suggest in time even that would not have satisfied him.

    This whole “sex cult” is as much a lesson on not learning to be content with what one does have as it is about the misuse of power and manipulation. By observing this, if one can learn from it to be a better person by noting the destruction that occurs when these principles are not adhered, and we can learn to be content with all we do have while still striving to improve ourselves and our situation in ways that are right and reasonable, then that’s at least a step towards taking a tragic situation and trying to assure some good comes from the lessons learned.

    • I like what you have written…i agree with it all and spent 11 years in Nxivm. Unfortunately, i think Keith is mentally ill and would have continued to escalate his manipulation. His delusions and paranoia about detractors and enrollment of followers/backers to annihilate them was what made him a criminal and I’m glad he is tucked away from society now. I also have made comments that were turned into unintended posts …this is not fox news..haha…thank you for your post.. in my opinion there is to much uneducated,slanderous,self promoting baloney that goes on on this site!

    • I agree with you, that the Bronfmans supported NXIVM in ways that were consequential if not crucial. Even if they just provided the money that bought influence and legal advantages in the Albany area, that is what gives NXIVM essential protection to this day.

      And even if they didn’t directly shovel money into the coffers of NXIVM and its corporate aliases – and we don’t know if they did or didn’t – I suspect that they effective paid for a lot, whether it was the lifestyles of Raniere or other leaders like the Salzmans (and currently Brandon Porter), or people who worked for them but who did work for NXIVM as well, and so on.

    • You are so on the money when you point out that nothing was EVER enough for Keith. The greed is galling, but also indicative of a person who, at the end of the day, can neither find nor experience joy, because inside they are a cold, empty shell unable to feel love or empathy.

      I suspect he would have gone on and on escalating his risk taking in the search for surface pleasures. This is how serial killers grow over time.

  • Quote from The New York Times:

    “Witnesses described Mr. Raniere’s views of women as deeply misogynistic. Although he had simultaneous sexual relationships with up to a dozen women within Nxivm, those women were told they could only have sex with him.”

    This is pretty much The Bachelor on ABC when you think about it.

  • uh oh!?! There’s that Nike logo once again on Keith’s hoodie. I’m sure the hoodie just appeared out of thin air and no one knows who gifted it to our little baby boy. Just curious if anyone knows how much hair baby Keith has on his back, versus chest?

    • GirlScoutCookies,

      After seeing the Keith Raniere in bed selfie….

      Raniere has more chest hair than Silverback Gorilla. So Keith’s back must be a forest.

      There is no possible way with chest hair like that that his back is not covered with turf.

      Raniere is the Urban Dictionary definition of an American Bear.

      BTW the photo of Raniere is an excellent dieting aid.

      I just look at that photo and lose my appetite.

      • Exactly, Niceguy. Frank needs to stop posting these repulsive photos if he wants people to continue to read his website. It is almost impossible to not gag when looking at bare-chested Keith, or (even worse) Keith laying in bed reading while wearing his underwear.

        Please make it stop, Frank.
        We beg you…..

      • Agree. One pattern of Keith’s is that he dresses poorly. And, has back hair that you could brush down like a freaking horse.

    • She would probably have told the court about how she saw the blue unicorns, when Keith put his hands in her pants. “The unicorns were so authentic and ethical, that my creativity just skyrocketed. Thats the joy I want to be remembered for.”

    • I imagine they chose not to call Allie for sentencing reasons. If she was on the stand then it would create more of a victim narrative for her – like it did for Lauren. Which will likely impact sentencing. The prosecution deprived Allie of a character defense.

    • The DOJ decided to give Mack the hook even before she took the stage. Instead, they gave the lead role to a non-actor. It doesn’t get worse for a performer.

    • Pyriel,

      The cynic in me thinks “it smell like her publicist or someone planted that story”.

      The optimist thinks,” I hope it’s true”.

      Let’s hope it’s true. After she pays her debt to society I hope she moves on with her life.

      She did not murder anyone.

  • If somebody lies about the deal (like Amway did with me and millions of others), then it’s not an informed choice, so the person victimized should not bear the brunt of the blame.

    If some of the women liked DOS, they didn’t claim it during the trial. That would have been a great opportunity for them, they could have stood up for their Vanguard. Nobody did.

    Some of the women who did the weird stuff are legitimate kinks, some were slowly boiled frogs.

  • It will forever be a mystery to me how this hairy, BO reeking, stumpy footed, greasy midget fooled women into liking him. Keith should write the book on “how geeks can bed women”. It seems to me women are more attracted to men of power and authority than obviously any physical trait. Keith is a genius at one thing. Manipulating women to fall for him. He’s a pro. And he got greedy. This shlump of a man could have gone on manipulating women into sleeping with him for the rest of his life. I’m not saying it’s right, just saying he could have done it. No crime there, as far as the laws of the land go. Sure, he was lying and was a fraud, but he could have kept it up. Millions of dollars at his disposal. Endless women. And he blew it. His crimes won’t haunt him for the rest of his days. The fact that he no longer has money and women will.

    • I think it was a combination of constant NLP covert hypnosis, and selecting the most susceptible women. All the DOS members have pretty shaky mental health, particularly Allison Mack and Nicvi, who probably had poor mental foundations before they even met smelly Keith. Lost people who feel that ‘something is missing’ inside them can easily be snared by a cult. It gives them a sense of identity and purpose that they previously lacked.

    • Haven’t you heard? Raniere was built up by a small band of women. He couldn’t have done it by himself. He also couldn’t have kept it up, because he can’t keep it up, and that’s why he had to ramp it up with the DOS/cauterizing routine.

    • Somebody,

      “It will forever be a mystery to me how this hairy, BO reeking, stumpy footed, greasy midget fooled women into liking him. Keith should write the book on “how geeks can bed women”,

      You and me both!!!!!

      Square feet, cross eyed,height 5’4…. with very very average looks and hairier than an orangutan or Robin Williams.

      Somebody the answer to your question is that he possesses supreme confidence in himself and he has the gift for gab.

      Diane Lipson aka Village Diane mentioned “woman finding his ridiculous amount of confidence attractive”…..I am paraphrasing.

  • “It seems the only reason this whole organization stayed afloat was because wealthy individuals were willing to keep pumping money into it.”

    NXIVM courses were expensive, several thousand dollars a pop. Rainbow Gardens charged parents tens of thousands of dollars, to have their children taught by low-wage nannies. If I recall correctly, taking a course from The Source cost students $10K.

    Money from wealthy individuals was not used to keep NXiVM afloat. Pam Carfriz’s money supported Raniere’s lifestyle. Money from wealthy individuals in Mexico most likely paid for lawyers to write threatening letters to enemies. The Bronfman’s money was used for, among other things, bankrolling lawsuits and private detectives and to cover Keith’s huge losses in the commodities market.

  • There is no doubt that many of these NXIVM women enjoyed being subservient to Raniere.
    They craved having a male authority figure and the sad sack of a man Keith Raniere provided that authority.

    Furthermore many of these NXIVM women also enjoyed bisexual relations with other women.
    How else can one explain this headline:
    “Part 3: Gems From Trial: Allison Mack Tells Nude Slave She Has ‘Beautiful Cunt’”

    NXIVM gave women the freedom to express their deepest, darkest sexual desires.

    Had Raniere exercised even the slightest bit of restraint he would still be reigning his harem of subservient females up in Clifton Park.
    Right now everyone would be planning for V Week 2019.

    All Raniere had to do was the following:

    1.) No children

    2.) No branding

    3.) No blackmail

    4.) No coercion.

    5.) No lifetime vows.

    Had Raniere been able to control his libido he would never have come to this pass.

    NXIVM will probably be rebuilt in some manner with a new name and a new leadership.
    Nancy Salzman is supposedly eager to recreate the ESP program.
    Clare Bronfman appears to be on board.
    Allison Mack regarded NXIVM as her chosen family and praised many of her friends in NXIVM as good people.
    (Only the Luciferian Keith Raniere led these good people astray.)
    And the Mexican elite who find something attractive in NXIVM’s strange brew of ideas will continue to be a foundation for the cult.
    And the new NXIVM will have to be more discreet in exercising its perversions.
    No more week long orgies.

About the Author

Frank Parlato is an investigative journalist.

His work has been cited in hundreds of news outlets, like The New York Times, The Daily Mail, VICE News, CBS News, Fox News, New York Post, New York Daily News, Oxygen, Rolling Stone, People Magazine, The Sun, The Times of London, CBS Inside Edition, among many others in all five continents.

His work to expose and take down NXIVM is featured in books like “Captive” by Catherine Oxenberg, “Scarred” by Sarah Edmonson, “The Program” by Toni Natalie, and “NXIVM. La Secta Que Sedujo al Poder en México” by Juan Alberto Vasquez.

Parlato has been prominently featured on HBO’s docuseries “The Vow” and was the lead investigator and coordinating producer for Investigation Discovery’s “The Lost Women of NXIVM.” In addition, he was credited in the Starz docuseries 'Seduced' for saving 'slave' women from being branded and escaping the sex-slave cult known as DOS.

Parlato appeared on the Nancy Grace Show, Beyond the Headlines with Gretchen Carlson, Dr. Oz, American Greed, Dateline NBC, and NBC Nightly News with Lester Holt, where Parlato conducted the first-ever interview with Keith Raniere after his arrest. This was ironic, as many credit Parlato as one of the primary architects of his arrest and the cratering of the cult he founded.

Parlato is a consulting producer and appears in TNT's The Heiress and the Sex Cult, which premieres on May 22, 2022.

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Contact Frank with tips or for help.
Phone / Text: (305) 783-7083
Email: frankparlato@gmail.com