Keith Richards, Kenny Rogers, Kimmi Raikkonen? Keep DOS Alive With New Guru With Keith Raniere’s Initials

With Nxivm leader Keith Raniere in federal custody and likely to be sentenced to life in prison, his DOS slaves will need a new master. One of the problems, as pointed out by Pyriel in this guest view, is that the pubic brand on the slaves are Raniere’s initials -K-R. Would it be possible for the slave women to find another guru with the same initials? 

Guest View by Pyriel

While commenting on the current DOS situation, Shivani said, “Right now some of Raniere’s first wives and future widows club could be scouring the bowels of Brooklyn and Albany looking for a new Keith.”

I also had been pondering that absent Guru problem and the brand that will forever adorn their pubic area.

The pubic brand with Keith Raniere’s initials

Find the Right Man With the Right Initials

The solution to the problem is to replace their Vanguard with another leader with the same initials.

Kimi Raikkonen, an Option?

The first option would be to adopt the Finnish Formula One racing driver, Kimi Raikkonen as their new leader. Kimi is also famous for his pearls of wisdom including “For sure, sometimes I don’t know what I’m doing.”

This seems to be the current DOS situation.

There is another quote from Kimi that Nicki Clyne and Co. could aspire to: “Be yourself. If you try to be someone else, it won’t work. Whatever you do, you are not going to make everyone happy.”

Kimi, of course, travels a lot so it would be expensive to follow him. He’s also married and I doubt that his wife would be willing to share him. The good news for Kimi is that he can drive fast when he sees trouble heading his way.

Kenny Rogers, An Older Guru Is Indicated

Perhaps he would be too young for a group of slaves who have grown accustomed to an older Guru.

The second, more mature option would be to choose the well known country singer Kenny Rogers.

His lines include “Stay away from trouble if you can.” and “You gotta know when to hold ’em, know when to fold’ em, know when to walk away, know when to run.”

Always good advice when someone asks you to give them collateral which can then be used as blackmail material. Kenny is also married and has two sons so I doubt that he, or his family would be willing to entertain a group of DOS slaves, although he probably won’t mind them singing his songs.

Keith Richards Might Work

The third option for new leader is someone who has been there, seen that and got the tee-shirt. He’s also an older man and it’s doubtful that he’d be shocked by a group of DOS slaves stripping off in front of him. He wouldn’t need Viagra either.

I give you Keith Richards, who could possibly be immortal as it seems that endless amounts of drugs, alcohol and women couldn’t kill him. Nicki and pals did have Sympathy For The Devil once, and Time Is On their Side, after all, so why not choose a legend?

Keef’s pearls of wisdom are too numerous to mention. He is also married and I’m pretty sure that his wife has put up with a lot. Who knows what she would think if a bunch of DOS slaves offered to worship her husband and become sister wives?

And if the answer’s no?

“You can’t always get what you want

You can’t always get what you want

You can’t always get what you want

But if you try sometime you might find

You get what you need.

“If you’re going to kick authority in the teeth, you might as well use two feet.” – a line from Keith Richards’ memoir, Life in 2010. Advice that perhaps Keith Raniere might have profited from of he had had feet as opposed to paws.

Guest View