Vanguard Has Become the Laughingstock of MDC

Keith Raniere always wanted to be respected and admired.

That’s one of the reasons why he made up all the totally bullshit claims about his abilities, powers, and skills.

East Coast judo champion.

Concert pianist.

World’s smartest man.

Well, now he can add one more line to that incredible 18-page resume: Biggest Buffoon in the Metropolitan Detention Center.

*****

It’s been a tough week for The Vanguard.

First, he had to sit stoically at the defense table listening to AUSA Tanya Hajjar and FBI Special Agent Meagan Rees reading his back-and-forth texts with Cami, the woman that he started having sex with when she was 15.

Along the way, he learned that Cami preferred the “taste, consistency, quantity and intensity” of Robbie Chiappone’s semen over his.

Then when he told Cami that his penis was longer than Robbie’s when both were fully erect, she responded by noting that “You haven’t been at your fullest in a long time”.

OUCH!

Even I felt a little sorry for him when I read that passage in the transcript.

But I got over it in about 30 seconds – which is apparently a little longer than The Vanguard lasts these days.

*****

Next, Raniere had to endure an entire courtroom bursting into laughter when Nicole No-Last-Name was asked what she thought when she was told by several of his minions that he was the world’s smartest man.

Her response: “It sounded like bullshit to me”.

Another OUCH – although not nearly as bad as the one inflicted by Cami.

*****

Unfortunately for Raniere, his humiliation does not end when Judge Nicholas G. Garaufis gavels the trial to a close for the day.

Nope . . . He still has to ride back to MDC with two guards.

Two guards who have been paying close attention to the trial – and who have now given him a new nickname: “Salty-Sweet”.

Two guards who are tired of listening to his never-ending explanations of why he’s an innocent man—and who have told him more than once to “Just shut the fuck up”.

*****

Eventually, he gets back to wherever he’s being housed at MDC for the night – where he’s confronted by fellow inmates who have been following the trial through the New York Post (Three copies of the newspaper are delivered to each unit every day: one for the Black prisoners, one for the White prisoners, and one for the Spanish prisoners).

The inmates, of course, make the teasing from the guards seem like child’s play.

Some mock him.

Some confront him.

But none of them respect him or admire him.

And none of them give a shit about his latest explanation that DOS was something that Allison Mack and Lauren Salzman concocted – and that he just went along with it to please them.

*****

The trial is taking its toll on Raniere.

He’s not sleeping well – and he’s hardly eating.

And he’s starting to look forlorn every day that he has to return to the courthouse.

And although he still wants to explain to anyone who will listen why Marc Agnifilo is such a shitty lawyer – and why he doesn’t trust any of his attorneys – no one will listen to him anymore.

They just shake their heads and walk away whenever he starts talking.

We’re definitely not in NXIVM-land anymore, Toto.

*****

Raniere is becoming increasingly gloomy – and is no longer claiming that he’s going to be getting out as soon as this trial is over.

And he’s increasingly blaming the women that turned against him for his problems – especially Allison and Lauren.

Soon, it will be time for him to blame Marc Agnifilo for his conviction.

And then it will be time for him to go away . . .forever.

*****

One final note from within the high walls of MDC . . .

Raniere has become “super-comfortable” going through the totally degrading process of being strip-searched twice a day.

Unlike the vast majority of inmates who find the process demeaning and de-humanizing, Raniere now seems to relish the process – and is smiley and buoyant every time he goes through it.

Ya gotta wonder what that’s all about . . .

*****

Night, night, Keithy . . . don’t let the bedbugs bite.

K.R. Claviger