Well, as we transition from October to November – and from Daylight Savings Time to Standard Time – Keith Alan Raniere f/k/a The Vanguard and n/k/a Federal Prisoner #57005-177 has seen a few changes in his routine at the Metropolitan Detention Center.
To begin with, he’s back in his old no-longer-infected-with-mites unit – which means that he’s no longer sharing space with prisoners who have been classified as Gay Sexual Perverts. Just good old Straight Sexual Perverts are his day-to-day companions once again.
But, alas, not everything else is going well for The Vanguard.
To begin with, those new prison glasses that he got several weeks back are still causing him problems. His eyes reportedly got so swollen recently that he had to stop wearing the glasses for a while – which caused real problems because his natural vision is so bad that he really can’t get around on his own.
A very high percentage of prisoners at MDC experience some sort of vision problem while they’re there because they’re subjected to fluorescent lighting 24/7 – and rarely, if ever, experience any natural sunlight.
As numerous scientific studies have documented, there are a variety of health problems that can result from that type of exposure:
– Eye strain
– Problems sleeping due to melatonin suppression
– Symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder or depression
– Endocrine disruption and poor immune systems
– Female hormonal/menstrual cycle disruption
– Increases in breast cancer rates and tumor formation
– Stress/Anxiety, due to cortisol suppression
– Sexual development/maturation disruption
– Agoraphobia (anxiety disorder)
But, unfortunately, for the man who once ruled a sex slaver cult, he’s having more than just problems with his eyesight.
Now, he’s apparently acquired a fungal infection – which is another very common health ailment at MDC. The word is that the infection is either on his feet or his testicles or both. But not to worry, he’s being provided with an anti-fungal cream to take care of the problem.
Apparently, Vanguard has also been identified as a potential danger to the guards at MDC. Which is why he’s now prohibited from walking closer than 25’ to any guard in his unit.
And his constant walking around the unit all day long has also stopped. Now, he’s spending most of his time in his cell, taking long naps, and generally isolating himself from other prisoners.
Vanguard has now been at MDC for more than 200 days – and he’ll very likely be there at least another 300 days before he goes to trial.
Viva Executive Success!
We’ll get another in-person look at Raniere when he attends his next Status Conference on Thursday, December 6th. Until then, you can write to him at this address (Note: We’ll be organizing a Christmas Card sending group sometime next month. So be sure to keep this address in a secure location):
Keith Alan Raniere – Registration Number 57005-177
Metropolitan Detention Center
P.O. Box 329002
Brooklyn NY, 11232
While not accurate representations of Raniere’s condition – these sketches by Thomas Silverstein give a hint at life for the man called Vanguard today.
[…] via The Trials & Tribulations of Mr. Magoo Continue… Raniere now has fungal infection — Frank Re… […]
Pea Onyu is all like, “Vanguard puts the fun in fungus! Shame on you for hating on this man!” to which I say, why do you harbor so much hate for this fungus? This fungus doesn’t lie. It doesn’t torture. It doesn’t grift. It doesn’t forcefully starve sex slaves. It doesn’t frivolously sue anyone who opposes it into poverty. I would argue that this fungus has done more for society than Keith ever has. This fungus is the smartest fungus on the planet. When it smelled Vandouche’s rancid B.O. it realized what it’s full potential truly is. Sadly Vangrifter has been unsuccessful at putting the fungus on a calorie restricted diet. It just keeps chowing down! The two are inseparable now. The fungus has carved it’s initials into Vanguard’s flesh. When Vanrapist cries himself to sleep at night the fungus whispers into his ear, “Think of your master.” I’m going to pay this fungus for a 32 week intensive, and by intensive I mean the infection will get way, way worse and burn like hell for 32 weeks. I’d go for more time but those fungus intensives cost an arm and a leg.
Nice to see Vanguard’s Fungal Bollocks Infection unites the comments section. Happy days unless you are Vanguard!
All he has to do is pee on his feet and balls. Unless that fungal infection is a UTI, in which case, don’t – just try not to scratch that itch which may feel like the fires of hell but is really nothing, unless and until the infection reaches his kidneys.. but he’s got cream, which doesn’t work and overburdens the liver with its toxicity.. this relatively harmless condition is the bane of the homeless and the incarcerated. He’ll just have to get used to it.
Well, he probably got athletes foot or a fungus from the showers. So, his feet would get itchy. Then he would scratch.
He doesn’t wash his hands. What else gets itchy when you don’t wash? His balls
So he would scratch his foot fungus. Then scratch his balls. So the fungus went from his feet to his balls.
In other words, Vanguard has about as much common sense as Scrotum face Scott Johnson.
While I understand your reasoning, you have overlooked one important fact. He doesn’t take showers. His b.o. is the stuff of legends. It is probably the reason the guards want him 25 ft. away, any closer and the stench makes your eyes water like cutting onions.
The hatred of the comments sickens me. Keith brings love and you bring hate. He is suffering. And you enjoy. He has a fungal infection and you mock. Crazy people.
Didn’t Vanguard claim that his “tech” could cure Tourettes and Cancer too?
Well, if his tech can cure cancer and tourettes, why can’t it cure these minor ailments?
It must mean that Keith is not integrated since his tech only works if somebody is fully integrated.
Yeah cause it’s not like Keith ever caused any suffering. You are very stupid or brainwashed Pea. Whoever you are.
The real problem here stems from one thing…
Keith’s rodent feet.
Having rodent’s feet makes him susceptible to all kinds of ailments from the animal world.
If the prison is serious about keeping these types of ailments from spreading to other inmates, they may wish to consider lopping off his rodent’s feet with a meat cleaver or perhaps some large pruning shears.
Then just give him some prosthetic feet. It’ll be an improvement.
Rotflmao #Don’t respond topea
You would think that KR would be immune to such things as a fungal infection! Bacteria would be multiplying constantly hidden in all that body hair (shudder). I think we all know where that infection is but if he could have athletes foot if he has been brave enough to take at least one shower since March of this year.
I was thinking of his feet and found myself wondering if they are as hairy as the rest of his body! Pea could answer that I’m sure. I know I’m going to have nightmares tonight though!
The only reasons I can think of that KR is “dangerous” to the guards is either his smell or he tries to manipulate them with his tech and they don’t want to listen to his voice or here about “authenticity”. Bleck
Don’t forget peas telling us about Raineres judo skills, the guards may be afraid. He knocked her down in no time flat. Or they don’t want to catch whatever he has….
That is probably why he has to keep his distance from the guards! You’re right! They don’t want to catch anything he has. Bet that cream will be used in multiple places for burning and itching. Just scratch away Vanguard.
I trully celebrate this bastard’s suffering. Rott in jail son of a bitch.
How can you beastly people celebrate another human being suffering. Do they have to pesticide torture and inhuman punishment?
Whoever you are (so many icons) – I for one do not celebrate suffering of any sort. Maybe things would have been different had Vanguard not rejoiced in it. Seeing someone starve to death before your eyes or sink into the damage of constant sleep deprivation, with a yawn, is the sign of a true monster – not the wordsmiths here.
Funny, Frank! His initials in the fungus, lol! Such a fun guy!
…Vanguard a danger to the prison guards? But he’s such a softy.
How’d they figure that out so fast?
Normally I would feel badly for the suffering of someone in pre-trial detention, not yet proven guilty. But he made his own bed, by pleading poverty after fleeing to a luxury villa in Mexico. And since so much of the pain he inflicted on others is documented, it’s hard to feel any sympathy.
The fungus is the haters
Frankly my dear, I dont give a damn.
What is the danger that keeps Raniere at least 25′ away from the guards? The fungus? His smell? His awesome Judo prowess? Some combination of the above and/or something else? How will they get him to court next month? Like the bubble boy in Seinfeld? https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=seinfeld+bubble+boy
Haha, fuck ’em
NXIVM is a fungus.
I suspect the fungus is ringworm and it is growing in his fat folds. Since he apparently has a fear of soap and water.
I don’t want to know where the fungus is growing. Please let it remain a mystery.