This was posted in the comments section of the Times Union series on Raniere and NXIVM and, after re-reading recently, I felt it was worth posting here:
I was involved for some time: 6 years. I left. I went in with a purpose. The tool was useful in uncovering issues. While I was there, I saw a lot. I learned a lot. I saw red flags all the time and all over the place.
I took note…
Fortunately for me, I kept myself very busy so that I wasn’t too involved with the social aspect of the organization. I had other friends.
I did, however, get the opportunity to see all the people in their OCD underwear. People are psychologically cut open when in an intensive. I saw how Keith pulled all the strings and how Nancy was just a pawn, as with her daughters (one is part leader, one is too afraid to leave mommy) Then I saw the exploiting of the women and people.
It was obvious but hard to believe that you are being deceived in such a way. You just have to keep rubbing your eyes until the vision is clear. What happens to those that are in is that there is the sixth sense that is very apparent, but you just don’t want to believe that you’re in this shit storm of deception, because some of the things are really good.
What Keith proposes and the organization espouses is that this is all for a better world and a better ethical humanity.
Who doesn’t want to believe that? What they forgot is that there is the rest of the world and people have their own experiences.
The tools show one their biggest fears and greatest virtue… Psychological YO-YO… How can I stroke thee to keep you in my grasp? It is amazing and disgusting. I am still grappling with the fact that I was ever involved and it is embarrassing for me.
But, I did find what I was looking for. So, am I any better? If you can be a tool for them, you are invited in…. I was a tool & I did exchange… I certainly didn’t have $, (I had a support team on the outside of NX)
It was a conscious choice as I had something I needed to uncover. This I did. It was work. They called me defiant many many many times and said I was fighting them.