Outsider comments on the story Woman Who Spent Time With Keith
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Your story makes me want to cry and my friends will tell you I am calm and cool under pressure and a bit of an ice princess. I don’t cry easily. You are a victim of an abusive relationship. Even crazier because you shared Keith with others who were the flying monkeys that swooped in to keep you in line.
You may not be able to afford healthcare but if your income is low enough, you may be eligible for Medicaid. I encourage you to get a complete physical and contact your local mental health office. Many services are available free or on a sliding scale. Years ago, I was battling alcohol addiction and was in a similar situation with similar feelings as you and found low cost services with Saratoga Mental Health. Wherever you are, help is there if you ask for it.
If you are at or near NYC or the 5 Boroughs, check out http://nownyc.org/service-fund/get-help/mental-health-counseling/. I would expect other communities to have similar resources available.
You are going through the stages of grief right now. How long it will take for you get to the stage of acceptance, I cannot tell you, but you will get there. Those feelings of low self worth will slip away. You will be happy again. Your relationship with yourself and others will improve. Try not to isolate. Getting out in nature and exercise, a good nights sleep and routine helped me get my life back and I had hit a pretty low bottom ( I was pretty much unemployable, I filed bankruptcy and had no credit and had lost most of my friends since they did not party like I did. I also couldn’t form complete sentences or read one, as my mind was so addled).
In early sobriety, I still had no concentration and I was depressed. I felt like I would never be able to participate in civilian life. So, if you have sat there staring at the ceiling for hours or reading the same page of a book over, I can relate.
It gets better with time, I promise. I allowed myself a small amount of self pity and then said, ‘I got myself into this mess and only I can get myself out of it.’
Think of Creepy Keith as your bottle of Molson Golden Ale. He was your thing, like booze was mine.
There are some people who contribute to this blog who were never part of NXIVM; we are outsiders who have become acquainted with each other because we share a common goal which is to see the end of NXIVM. We have also become acquainted with several Expians who are suffering much like yourself. One happily started exit counseling recently. We support her as we would support you.
NAMASTE and I wish you Peace – Sharing your story here is the first step to regaining what was taken from you.
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