Not too funny Nicki Clyne tries Vanguard comedy gold


The following is one of Nicki Clyne’s comedy routines at V-Week.



Poor Nicki Clyne.

You’ve been branded on your vagina by a ruthless psychopath who took you out of your career path and now you’re dead broke. And just to make things worse, this same guy  built 1,000 millionaires – and decided not to make you one of them.

Phyllis Diller was an American comedienne who was funnier than Nicki Clyne.

The Top 10 Reasons People Ask Questions in a Vanguard* Forum:

10. They have a “friend” they want to “help”.

9. To indirectly give someone feedback.

8. To achieve their goal for Goals and Values Lab.

7. To be that person who asked a question in that forum that one time.

6. They genuinely have a question.

5. They don’t actually have a question. They believed their teachers who said there’s no such thing as a stupid question.

4. They’re living as if it’s the last day of their life!!!

3. They want to hear the pantomiming picking up garbage story… again.

2. To put it out there that they’re into polyamory.

1. They felt deprived when they heard Vanguard say, “Was that the last question?”

*Vanguard is the made up, superhero name that Keith Raniere gave to himself.\


About the author

Frank Parlato

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  • The polyamory joke is hilarious!

    At least this is some form of ESP honesty.
    Where is the size of Keith’s penis joke?

About the Author

Frank Parlato is an investigative journalist.

His work has been cited in hundreds of news outlets, like The New York Times, The Daily Mail, VICE News, CBS News, Fox News, New York Post, New York Daily News, Oxygen, Rolling Stone, People Magazine, The Sun, The Times of London, CBS Inside Edition, among many others in all five continents.

His work to expose and take down NXIVM is featured in books like “Captive” by Catherine Oxenberg, “Scarred” by Sarah Edmonson, “The Program” by Toni Natalie, and “NXIVM. La Secta Que Sedujo al Poder en México” by Juan Alberto Vasquez.

Parlato has been prominently featured on HBO’s docuseries “The Vow” and was the lead investigator and coordinating producer for Investigation Discovery’s “The Lost Women of NXIVM.” Parlato was also credited in the Starz docuseries "Seduced" for saving 'slave' women from being branded and escaping the sex-slave cult known as DOS.

Additionally, Parlato’s coverage of the group OneTaste, starting in 2018, helped spark an FBI investigation, which led to indictments of two of its leaders in 2023.

Parlato appeared on the Nancy Grace Show, Beyond the Headlines with Gretchen Carlson, Dr. Oz, American Greed, Dateline NBC, and NBC Nightly News with Lester Holt, where Parlato conducted the first-ever interview with Keith Raniere after his arrest. This was ironic, as many credit Parlato as one of the primary architects of his arrest and the cratering of the cult he founded.

Parlato is a consulting producer and appears in TNT's The Heiress and the Sex Cult, which premiered on May 22, 2022. Most recently, he consulted and appeared on Tubi's "Branded and Brainwashed: Inside NXIVM," which aired January, 2023.

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