The following is one of Nicki Clyne’s comedy routines at V-Week.
VANGUARD COMEDY GOLD
Poor Nicki Clyne.
You’ve been branded on your vagina by a ruthless psychopath who took you out of your career path and now you’re dead broke. And just to make things worse, this same guy built 1,000 millionaires – and decided not to make you one of them.
The Top 10 Reasons People Ask Questions in a Vanguard* Forum:
10. They have a “friend” they want to “help”.
9. To indirectly give someone feedback.
8. To achieve their goal for Goals and Values Lab.
7. To be that person who asked a question in that forum that one time.
6. They genuinely have a question.
5. They don’t actually have a question. They believed their teachers who said there’s no such thing as a stupid question.
4. They’re living as if it’s the last day of their life!!!
3. They want to hear the pantomiming picking up garbage story… again.
2. To put it out there that they’re into polyamory.
1. They felt deprived when they heard Vanguard say, “Was that the last question?”
*Vanguard is the made up, superhero name that Keith Raniere gave to himself.\