Violet is an attractive woman who met and at one time had a brief intimate relationship with Keith Raniere. Here is her story:
I met Keith Raniere when I was looking for something in my life and someone to share my life with. While we met for reasons other than romance, he soon let me know he was interested in me romantically.
He did not use any come on lines. He was very direct. He said he wanted to have sex with me. Sex, he said, was nothing to be frightened of; nothing to attach such great importance to. It is just skin touching skin. Like playing tennis.
I resisted. I wanted more than sex which was like playing tennis. I wanted to get married and have children. And I told him.
“He told me that marriage was possible, that we would have a child – it would be a female child and she would be an avatar. I did not know what to make of that. We met and talked and he was quite attentive, but still I resisted.
Then, when I still resisted, he sent his women in to persuade me to stop resisting his advances. Pam Cafritz told me it is not casual sex, but spiritual sex.
Even the conversation made me uncomfortable.
Still, he looked at me with such love in his eyes, and one day he said, ‘I worry about you; you are such a pure and innocent soul that you are not meant to be on this earth. There is another, higher world, for someone like you.”
People don’t fall for Keith for no reason. He is smart, charming and funny and playful.
Still, it seemed like his lifestyle was a million miles away from what I knew would make me happy. Yet when all these other smart people believe in Keith, it makes it more convincing; knowing that smart people believe in him makes it easier for other people who consider themselves intelligent to ignore red flags.
They have a good system to hide his dark side, that’s why I don’t fault anybody for believing in him. Still, it seemed like his lifestyle was a million miles away from what I knew would make me happy. What woman in her right mind wants to be one of many lovers?
That was not me. I don’t think it was any of them. I think they all started out thinking that they would be the only one. At least he was upfront with me. He told me that he had many lovers. I wonder if he was as upfront with some of the others.
But he kept working on me, telling me to be rational, acting like he cared about me in some higher, more evolved way than anyone else could. He and his women were grooming me in a way that felt like a full court press, but I didn’t understand the concept of grooming at the time. Sexual predators groom their prey.
One day, Keith drove me over to a house. It was somebody else’s house but he had a key to it. I had never been there before.
We went in and nobody was home. Alone we sat down on the couch and talked and cuddled. He made me feel special, it was romantic, he was very sweet.
One thing led to another. We were two, single, consenting adults. I was in no way a victim.
After being intimate with him, to my shock, he said, “Now you can longer be with any other man.” He tried to claim ownership of me like I was a piece of property.
“Now that we have united, you are bound to never sleep with anyone else again but me for so long as you live. You are mine.”
He gave me a big lecture about it, informing me that I had been initiated into the inner circle. I was taken aback. I thought, “He can’t be serious.” But he seemed serious, dead serious. I was turned off because I found it deeply manipulative. You can’t do what consenting adults do and then after the fact say ‘you’re mine now forever’! It wasn’t a marriage ceremony, it was just a date!
I went running back to my conservative life.
Something told me that if he knew I was not about to commit to him, things might not go well – so I just quietly slipped off his radar and moved on with my life. He has never done anything to harm me, and I’ve never considered him an enemy. It is my understanding that a lot of people feel enriched by the seminars he created. However, seeing the harm he has inflicted on other women who have done nothing to deserve it, I thank my lucky stars that I never fell for him or got sucked in. And for those incredible women (and men) who did, I have absolute compassion for them.